Father of the Year

As it is almost every night, when I lay my head down on my pillow and close my eyes my mind never seems to want to shut down. I can't explain it but maybe you are the same way. Sometimes just images and thoughts that really make no sense, or sometimes simple things that happened throughout the day either through conversations or just work related things. All the same, the mind just can't seem to rest for the longest time.

Last night was of no exception. As I lay in bed and closed my eyes the first thing that began to race through my mind was my dad. Well actually he was the second. The first thing that came into my mind was the story of the Prodigal Son found in the Bible. But, as soon as that scripture came in my head, my dad came into play. I began to remember bits and pieces from my childhood. That's really odd for me as I really don't remember a lot from that time for some reason. Getting old I guess.

Anyway, this is what came to my mind and so I am writing this very early today so I don't forget.As I lay there I began to remember how rotten I was as a kid. I was always getting into trouble, hanging out where I shouldn't have and doing things that should have at times killed me. But last night the only things that I could really remember or at least that was coming into my head were the times that my dad spent countless hours searching and looking for me.

I recalled a time when I built a snow fort with some friends that was made using the huge piles of snow left in big parking lots from a snow plow. We made tunnels through these huge piles. My dad found out and told me to stay away from them becasue they could cave in and bury us. So, long story short, we caved them in and left. Well, I stayed out with my friends for hours after that and my dad began to worry. He went looking for me, which seemed to happen more often than not in those days, only to find the snow fort caved in. He panicked! He spent better than an hour digging with his bare hands searching for me, his son. In his mind I was lost, buried, hurt, dying. His hands nearly frostbit and after finding that I was not there he went home only to find me sitting in the chair. He was happy to see me alive and gave me in big hug, but there were consequences, lol.

I then recalled several other times when dad had to come looking for his son, the times kept rolling through my mind. For whatever reason that is all I could focus on. Then the time I would like to forget was brought before me. When I was 16 I ran away from home. I left Illinois and left for Colorado with a friend. This is a long story so I will spare you all the details. I left with no warning, no note, no call. Simply grabbed a few items to take and left. I was gone for over two weeks when they found me through phone records. I had made a couple phone calls to some contacts in Kansas before I left. When the phone bill came in they checked the numbers in hopes to find me. They did. We talked on the phone for a while and then my dad said I will come and get you and get you back home safe. Both my dad and mom drove to Kansas just to follow me back in my car. When I seen my mom and dad they looked like they aged 10 years, I will never forget the looks. It haunts me to this day. They searched as I ran off to live wild, free, without boundries.

My dad, although we never said it much, at least from I can remember, loved me. His love for me casued him to countinue to search and look for me, to keep watch. Thank you dad for loving me enough to never stop looking and searching no matter the cost.

Again as I layed there, ready to go to sleep, the mind continued to race. Just as my dad was always there for me when I was out doing stupid things, ready to give a hug when I was found to be alright. My heavenly Father does that everday for me.

My mind shifted from my earthly dad to my heavenly dad. My Father in heaven searches for me in my lostness more often then He should have to. Just as the story of the Prodigal Son in the Bible, I often find myself doing what I want to do, the way I want to do them. I find myself at times still living that chldhood routine, pushing the boundries, living right on the edge of my faith, sometimes stepping across the line. I recalled that biblical story as my mind began to slow down. I am thankful that my heavenly Father is always there for me as I come to my senses and come back home. I am thankful that in his faithfulness and love His arms are always welcoming.

I am blessed. I have been given an earthly father that loves and cares for me even in my days of bad choices and rebellion. His love is real. And I am blessed that I have a heavenly Father that loves me even more, totally unconditionally who also loves me as I am, who I have been and who I will be. He will always be there, with arms open wide to embrass me.

Thank you to the best two dad's anyone could ever have. Happy Father's Day! Love you both so much!